shout out to some of the rejected ace flag designs
Tag: actually Asexual
FUN FACT: it seems like more and more people are coming out as asexual because we finally feel safe enough to do so, it is not a fad, it is not a trend, and if you think it is one of those things please hop on the shut-the-fuck-up train to don’t-fucking-speak-to-me-ville.
Holy shit, it’s been put into words.
💜🌈💜
Also, people are coming out as asexual because we finally know that this is a thing that exists. We are reading things on the internet and thinking, “Oh, this sounds like me,” and, “There are other people who feel like this?” and, “Maybe I’m not broken after all.”
I wasn’t aware asexuality even existed until a couple of years ago. I mentioned asexuality to a coworker maybe a month ago and her reaction was astonished joy and, “That sounds like me!” I spoke to a woman in her fifties who said, “I always just assumed I was broken.”
People are coming out as asexual because they’ve learned that asexuality exists.
I did know about asexuals, but the only examples I ever got were of characters like Sherlock Holmes who were cold and robotic and ambiguous.
I assumed that because I have no problem with having sex, that I wasn’t Asexual. It was only once I saw actual people who identified as Asexuals (who were human and showed a variety to asexuality that I’d never seen) that I could begin to see myself in that description.
So now I can say loud and proudly that I am Asexual! I am Aromantic! And I am a human being and not a damn fad!
remember that time society made you assume you were straight
ace “discussion”
friends, countrymen. its 1am and i was thinking about this and slowly getting angrier so here we go.
the “intra-community discussion” about ace people is fucking acephobic as shit.
every argument about how ace people (specifically “het” ace people and to a lesser extent aro ace) can get around in life without facing oppression for their ID is literally ripped right from “but BI people who date the other sex dont face oppression!” grouping of arguments. you know, the kind that requires you a) never openly identify (kind of like saying closeted gay people arent oppressed) and b) face no discrimination and othering in a culture that is heteroSEXUAL to the max and crams all kinds of stereotypes and prejudice and internal hatred down our throats.
ace people, heteromantic or otherwise, have a fucking place in our community.
no, they do NOT face the same discrimination leveled at lgbtqi people–NO SHIT SHERLOCK. cis lgb people dont face transphobia and lg people dont face biphobia and none of us face intersex issues but for intersex people. yet HERE WE ALL ARE, somehow sticking together for survival because even tho we DONT face the exact same discrimination by GOD it can feel familiar across spectrums.
ace people have long been associated with gay men and lesbians–read up on this post for more, but needless to say the whole ‘sex denying women and men’ thing makes society uncomfortable in a VERY similar way to “women want women and men want men”. HELLO SPINSTER MOVEMENT.
theres also the little fact that a fuckton of ace people also happen to be trans. let me tell you, i myself have been way more fucked up from internalized hatred of my asexuality than i have literally EVER my trans identity. and its fucking painful to see friends who accept you so easily when it comes to your gender turn around and make your asexuality into a fucking joke and insult.
“but im not COMFORTABLE having het-ish people in the community, it makes me feel unsafe!”
well SHIT having terf lesbians around sure doesnt make ME feel great, but theres unfortunately no way to revoke their lgbtqia community rights (that i know of) so SUCKS huh? guess you’ll have to deal with that the same way a lot of us have to deal with parts of our community being rampantly transphobic, racist, ableist, sexist, and any mixture therein!
the lgbtqia community is not going to be somehow delegitimized from having het ace people come in (reminds me of the temporary panic of TRANSTRENDERS ALL AROUND US somehow… hurting trans people??). hell ANY ace people coming in. the community safe spaces will not ravaged by desperate fake asexuals somehow wanting access to safety and i dont fucking know, painting everything beige cuz we’re boring? what even is the big fear.
i guess theres a fear that we will all of us be more and more mistaken for being assumed straight b/c its not like thats happening aLREADY or anything, and is in fact fueled more by ignorant people that were fucking clueless already and not the actions of evil het ace people dragging us down.
or a fear that people will FEIGN asexuality to gain secret club member access, cuz its not like they can feign that with homosexuality or transgender identities if they are so inclined. FUCKING brilliant.
“but i want to make fun of ace people who say and do really stupid shit” hell i do too! i’m not saying dont drag assholes. i’m saying dont associate the entire community with the loudmouths, kind of like i try not to associate all cis lesbians with terfs or gay men with being creepy personal space invaders.
and dont deny us the chance to try and make a safe space for ace teens and ace adults in the community who go through life feeling broken, othered, and coerced in relationships otherwise.
Delicious Fish 