friends, countrymen. its 1am and i was thinking about this and slowly getting angrier so here we go.
the “intra-community discussion” about ace people is fucking acephobic as shit.
every argument about how ace people (specifically “het” ace people and to a lesser extent aro ace) can get around in life without facing oppression for their ID is literally ripped right from “but BI people who date the other sex dont face oppression!” grouping of arguments. you know, the kind that requires you a) never openly identify (kind of like saying closeted gay people arent oppressed) and b) face no discrimination and othering in a culture that is heteroSEXUAL to the max and crams all kinds of stereotypes and prejudice and internal hatred down our throats.
ace people, heteromantic or otherwise, have a fucking place in our community.
no, they do NOT face the same discrimination leveled at lgbtqi people–NO SHIT SHERLOCK. cis lgb people dont face transphobia and lg people dont face biphobia and none of us face intersex issues but for intersex people. yet HERE WE ALL ARE, somehow sticking together for survival because even tho we DONT face the exact same discrimination by GOD it can feel familiar across spectrums.
ace people have long been associated with gay men and lesbians–read up on this post for more, but needless to say the whole ‘sex denying women and men’ thing makes society uncomfortable in a VERY similar way to “women want women and men want men”. HELLO SPINSTER MOVEMENT.
theres also the little fact that a fuckton of ace people also happen to be trans. let me tell you, i myself have been way more fucked up from internalized hatred of my asexuality than i have literally EVER my trans identity. and its fucking painful to see friends who accept you so easily when it comes to your gender turn around and make your asexuality into a fucking joke and insult.
“but im not COMFORTABLE having het-ish people in the community, it makes me feel unsafe!”
well SHIT having terf lesbians around sure doesnt make ME feel great, but theres unfortunately no way to revoke their lgbtqia community rights (that i know of) so SUCKS huh? guess you’ll have to deal with that the same way a lot of us have to deal with parts of our community being rampantly transphobic, racist, ableist, sexist, and any mixture therein!
the lgbtqia community is not going to be somehow delegitimized from having het ace people come in (reminds me of the temporary panic of TRANSTRENDERS ALL AROUND US somehow… hurting trans people??). hell ANY ace people coming in. the community safe spaces will not ravaged by desperate fake asexuals somehow wanting access to safety and i dont fucking know, painting everything beige cuz we’re boring? what even is the big fear.
i guess theres a fear that we will all of us be more and more mistaken for being assumed straight b/c its not like thats happening aLREADY or anything, and is in fact fueled more by ignorant people that were fucking clueless already and not the actions of evil het ace people dragging us down.
or a fear that people will FEIGN asexuality to gain secret club member access, cuz its not like they can feign that with homosexuality or transgender identities if they are so inclined. FUCKING brilliant.
“but i want to make fun of ace people who say and do really stupid shit” hell i do too! i’m not saying dont drag assholes. i’m saying dont associate the entire community with the loudmouths, kind of like i try not to associate all cis lesbians with terfs or gay men with being creepy personal space invaders.
and dont deny us the chance to try and make a safe space for ace teens and ace adults in the community who go through life feeling broken, othered, and coerced in relationships otherwise.
Hi! My name is Stella and I’m writing my senior paper about asexuality. I have a survey that has a couple of questions that ask about your personal definitions/experiences with asexuality. If you could please take this survey, it would help me out a whole bunch! I need responses by December 18th, at around 9:30 ish AM, EST. The answers you give will remain confidential, only I will see them, and your name will not be mentioned in my paper, unless otherwise stated by you.
To give your responses, you must be asexual, that’s all.
“beauty and the beast” where beauty’s dad comes home with the rose and is like oh shit oh shit this terrible monster says i have to come live with him forever because i picked his favorite flower and beauty just goes fuck that and puts on her pants and marches down to the beast’s castle herself
and she’s expecting this horrifying dark fortress but it’s actually sort of just a normal castle with big rose bushes and furniture that’s sometimes alive
and she thinks, i can work with this
and the beast comes out and he’s like don’t look at me i am a hideous monster and beauty’s like dude you’re like a talking tiger in a cape are you kidding you’re AWESOME can i pet you can i stroke your paws can you give me a ride
and he’s like what and she goes around the castle like okay we’ll put curtains here and expand the kitchen and this could be a really cute breakfast nook
and the beast is confused because isn’t she supposed to be terrified and hate him and he had all these intimidating speeches planned and he’s like uh aren’t you going to try to run away
and beauty’s all are you kidding this is a magic castle i’m going to live here forever
so they just sort of settle in together and one day beauty goes home for the weekend to visit her family and they’re all amazed that she’s alive and her sisters go WHY DIDN’T THE HUGE MONSTER EAT YOU TO DEATH and she’s like nahhh he’s basically just a big cat he’s kind of cute actually sometimes he plays with yarn when he thinks i’m not looking
and she explains how it’s really not that bad, all the dishes wash themselves and i get all these gorgeous dresses for free because the castle doesn’t know what else to do with them and yeah there are flowers everywhere but hey that’s his hobby y’know i’m not gonna discourage that man
and then one day while beauty’s re-alphabetizing her magic library and trying to decide where to put that enchanted mirror the beast comes up and he’s like hey so this is awkward but are you like………………………………..in love with me……?????????
and beauty’s like oh uh wow haha um sorry no you’re…sort of a tiger
and the beast is like thank goodness because if you were i’d have to turn back into a human and i’ve kind of gotten used to being a big lion thing with horns and the ability to speak english for some reason like why would i want to go back to being a spindly little man and then beauty laughs and she’s like okay well can you go catch us a wild boar for dinner, dear
and they end up getting married in the end just because it’s easier to explain that way, you know, a single lady ~~living alone with a man~~ even if he’s not actually a man, and that’s fine with them because beauty was never really into the whole boys and sex thing and the beast (whose name is jeff) is honestly more interested in his flowers
and whenever any of the other ladies in the village give her any shit beauty is just like, oh, you don’t like my crepes? well you know my husband, who is literally a tiger, loves them and then everyone leaves her alone, which is really all she ever wanted
and she goes back to her magic castle and sits down with a book in front of the fire and rests her feet on her cat husband and nobody bothers her ever again
can that happen
8D
Can we have a whole book of aromantic fairy tales?
I needed this so much.
Ah yes I would so buy that! Take my money! ALL OF IT!
I will reblog this every time I see it on my dash. Aro/Ace Belle gives me life.
If you are asexual because of trauma, you are not a fake. Your past orientation was real and valid. Your current orientation is real and valid.
If you stopped being asexual because of trauma, you are not a fake. Your past orientation was real and valid. Your current orientation is real and valid.
People change, and that includes their orientations. You are surviving and redefining yourself and I am so proud of you for that.
Anyone else besides me wear their ace ring somewhere other than the right hand middle finger?
I wear mine on my left hand ring finger (like a wedding ring) and I’m wondering if anyone else breaks that norm.
I wear mine on my left hand middle finger as my right middle finger broke badly when I was young and has a very large middle knuckle that I can’t get rings over! I hope to get a black and white ring so I can show my ace and aro pride together!
8D
Delicious Fish 