Ugh, really not a good day
I woke up at 4am this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep for an hour.
And I’m still wiped cos I only managed to dose between then and 8:30 when my alarm went off.
I then got sort of trapped in what I assume was sleep paralysis, cos I was awake. I know I was awake.
But I had these really vivid dreams/hallucinations and I could feel them and they felt real.
One was that I was sharing a room with several other people at a school and I could hear them talking and I had to help the teacher but I couldn’t move.
And then another was a damp Samoyed dog came in and jumped on my bed. I may have shouted in my sleep, but I know I at least felt myself say, “No, you’re not allowed on the bed” and it got off.
I could feel my bed move as the dog got on and got off and I could feel it’s fur on my hand, which was damp but not soaking wet.
I had so many of these horribly real dream/hallucinations and I feel dreadful and I’m exhausted and I wanted to go to work today but I couldn’t and now I feel awful and I want to dig my nails into my skin and I want to cry and I hate this.
I feel so disorientated like I’ve been spinning for too long and my brain needs aligning again, but I can’t.
I really can’t do it today
Fuck.