Grog tries his hand at that writing thing. Scanlan assists.
For the Critical Role mini-bang, to accompany @fluorescentwolf‘s amazing art
Scanlan cannot quite believe it.
“You’re serious?”
Grog’s brow furrows. “Well, yeah.”
“You can’t write at all?”
“Well… nah.”
Scanlan stares up at his goliath friend, completely dumbfounded. “But why not?” he asks finally.
Grog shrugs, a nonchalance of a man who does not comprehend how strange such an existence is. “Never learned,” he says simply. “Smashin’s more my thing.”
“Well, I can’t deny that, buddy. But we’re really going to have to change this whole illiterate thing, you know, there are those who would disapprove of -”
The twins and Trinket, they were a triangle. The sort changed sometimes. For a while, they were obtuse. Vax and Vex worked together alright on the battlefield. Grog grew to learn he could rely on them to take the baddies down a peg before he got his hands on them, but Trinket was far off to the left, always close to Vex and never much help. Then they got tall and acute. Vex and Trinket crowding together while Vax got further and further away. Grog was sure they’d be equilateral someday. (2/5)
Keyleth was a rhombus. Solid on some ends. Certainly looked solid, but Grog was always just a little afraid she might topple over if her slant went too far. Her sizes and angles changed too much all the time. Early on, he’d worried about every animal he saw on the battlefield. There were so many shapes she could take. It made Grog’s head hurt, but he learned them one by one. Still, every squirrel was suspect. (3/5)
Scanlan started as a square, but he’d widened over time. The more songs, the more conversations, the more voices his friend brought out, the more sides Grog saw around him. He was a nonagon now, but Grog wondered sometimes if he was trying to get to a circle, same as Pike. He didn’t think it would work. Scanlan worked himself in and out of too many corners. (4/5)
Percy was a line. Straight on down from far away to whatever he chose to hit. Grog admired that in him. Sometimes he couldn’t see the beginning or the end of a line. Roads were one. Rivers were another, though he sometimes tried to put words to just what shape rivers were when they didn’t stay straight as he might prefer, but he was comforted knowing a line always landed somewhere. Pow. (5/5)
Grog definitely pays for lady favors. He’s in a tough position, because he’s so large that being intimate with many of the women he comes across could actually be really painful, if not outright dangerous for them. He might be brutal as fuck in battle, but he has no desire to hurt women in bed.
Once he finds a lady in a house of, ehm, lady favors, that he likes, he is very loyal. He’s actually super tentative when it comes to anything sexual, because he’s so conscious of his size, so it takes him a while to be comfortable with a woman. Once he is, he wants to stick with them.
The women appreciate his consideration, and actually really like how sweet and careful he is. They’re excited to see him when he visits and keep jars of mayonnaise on hand for late night snacking.
Also, if any other client were to get out of hand, they know that Grog would put them in their place. He’s very protective of his ladies. He’s come to their defense more than few times.
Delicious Fish 