Headcanon that one of the most common things said to Cole is, “Shit! How long have you been there?!”
I hear it in Varric’s voice. I picture him by the fire, perpetrating smutty literature, and out of the silence comes Cole.
“Oh! I didn’t know people could do *that*!”
Tag: headcanadian accepted
Fact: Everyone who ‘works with dragons’ in the Harry Potter universe is asexual – Newt, Charlie, Luna it’s a pattern
Headcanon: It’s a common thing among wizards that those with little to no interest in sex seem to have a talent for dealing dragons and other magical creatures. So much so that it eventually turns into a euphemism.
“Hello darling! My, how you’ve grown. I dare say you’ll settle down and have a family of your own soon?”
“I don’t think so, auntie Beryl. I work with dragons, you see.”
IS THIS ABOUT ME CUS I THINK IT’S ME
By PSDO
I totally didn’t reblog this for the last picture.
Nope. Not me.
Thank you for making Wynne actually look old I like it
something else that is of immense and immediate concern to me: why didn’t zevran have running commentary on the dirty love letters you find scattered throughout ferelden in origins
like
can you just imagine him doing the voices as he reads it aloud, pausing to question choice metaphors or to deliberately read a misspelled word phonetically? walking backwards with a hand pressed to his chest as he reads, not even breaking stride when alistair tugs him out of the way of a tree and then back into place? bc i can. vividly.
Right, so I know the aravels we see in-game all have the same, plain appearance. And I get that it’s because they all use the same models and textures. But I like to imagine that no aravel is really the same.
In which I mean, I like to imagine that the Dalish decorate them. With paint, and carvings. And I bet they’re beautiful, you know? And we already do know the Dalish carve things. They carve their halla antlers. And statues, and tokens/items, and jewellery. It’s definitely an art they practice. I just feel like the aravels are such a big part of their lives, they’d probably decorate them, too. With fun things, and maybe spiritual/cultural things as well. Like painting stories along the sides.
After all, “Dalish craftsmanship is second to none.”
Differences in Dalish temperment based on region:
Many, many times it’s pointed out “The Dalish Clans are all unique and different to each other”, “they develop differently as they grow apart, inspired by the cultures around them”.
Well yes, they should. Aside from a shared base culture and a focus on the retrieval, protection and reconstruction of lore and a loyalty to each other and such the Dalish should be different. Proximity to other cultures and local environment should shape them differently.
Pity there’s basically no difference between any of the clans we’ve met in game.Admittedly we haven’t actually seen that much of Dalish culture in a day-to-day type of thing, but aside from a little difference in opinion on city elves and outsiders the clans have all been basically the same. They even dress the same! But still everybody says “they’re all different!”
So I started thinking about maybe it’s because the clans we’ve met have all roughly been in the same areas and environments as each other.
Antivan clans are violent. Why? Nevarran clans, despite that we know they exist, are apparently unknown to Nevarrans themselves. Why?
So I came up with headcanons about Dalish cultures based on region.
Please note that I may have fucked up or missed things regarding the biomes mentioned.
Guess what, it’s another long post!If anybody wants to read these but has difficulty reading them let me know and I’ll make separate posts.
Cullen’s baby grows up to join the Seekers, and he can’t help but be all weepy during their induction ceremony. Cassandra shoots him dirty looks, but can’t help getting teary eyed herself.
Headcanon 2: Grog
Grog definitely pays for lady favors. He’s in a tough position, because he’s so large that being intimate with many of the women he comes across could actually be really painful, if not outright dangerous for them. He might be brutal as fuck in battle, but he has no desire to hurt women in bed.
Once he finds a lady in a house of, ehm, lady favors, that he likes, he is very loyal. He’s actually super tentative when it comes to anything sexual, because he’s so conscious of his size, so it takes him a while to be comfortable with a woman. Once he is, he wants to stick with them.
The women appreciate his consideration, and actually really like how sweet and careful he is. They’re excited to see him when he visits and keep jars of mayonnaise on hand for late night snacking.
Also, if any other client were to get out of hand, they know that Grog would put them in their place. He’s very protective of his ladies. He’s come to their defense more than few times.
Headcanon 1: Scanlan
Scanlan doesn’t actually pay for lady favors. He is secretly trying to save all of the ladies in the lady favor houses. He spends his entire allotted time using his talents at persuasion to try to convince them to seek a different life.
Anyone else would have been banned ages ago, but Scanlan is just so damn charming that they still let him in, knowing perfectly well that he’s just going to pay them to listen to his arguments for an hour.
He keeps a running tally of all the prostitutes he’s successfully helped get out of the life. It’s his greatest source of pride.
No one in Vox Machina has any idea he does this, because he’s so damn good at deception that they just swallow his lies without question.
Orsino’s death is bullshit and Varric just made it up to protect him from the Chantry, pass it on
okay but i actually really love this because the Orsino boss fight is literally recycled from an old Origins DLC, like even the model of the head monster at the end is the exact same 3D mesh?
so honestly what happened is Anders told Varric about this freaky-ass monster the Hero of Ferelden once fought and V is drunk off his ass yellin “BADASS THAT’S SO FUCKING METAL!!11 IMMA PUT IT IN A BOOK (falls over)”
and then months later they’re in some backwater inn somewhere on the run from the law and Anders is reading Tale of the Champion and gets to the end and just bursts out laughing so hard ale comes out his nose, and Orsino’s just pounding his back to keep him from choking while yelling “WHAT! WHAT’S SO FUNNY. ANDERS WHAT DID HE DO”
Delicious Fish 