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I hope the read more worked and if it didn’t then please accept my apologies, I don’t wanna offload onto anyone except tumblr, so please go ahead and skip this.

That’s what I get for using the mobile app.

I wanna say I’m angry or pissed off or at least that I’m really cross right now, but I’m just tired and very little else.
I just. I don’t wanna deal with this, but that’s something I need to do cos it’s fucking me up on the inside. (Like physically, not like emotionally. All my emotions come out through my stomach and this is giving me cramps the size of France)

I feel like anything I say right now, here and actually in person would be so over dramatic, but I can’t really think of any other way to describe how… fed-up(?) I am. It’s not like it’s anything new or like it’s something especially awful that’s happened. It’s just that I’ve let things go unchecked for so long and I don’t know how to stop this without destroying everything.

And destroying everything is starting to look darn attractive.

I wanna say I feel betrayed or that I feel taken for granted or like no one cares how I feel, but that’s all bull shit.
I know that my mum will always be on my side no matter what happens and I’m so thankful for her. I know my sister is always just a Skype away and that even though I can’t hug her physically, that she’s always there for me too. Hell, any of my relatives would be there for me if I asked, but again, that feels like way way way over dramatic.

I know who else would be there for me if I asked, but I feel like I’ve missed this happening to them and that I don’t deserve their help. Though, they do seem to be in a better state than me!

Which is kinda my own fault. I need to let it go or deal with it. I know that, but I can’t. won’t. don’t fucking want to. But then, I want this to go away for the right reasons and not cos I’ve distracted my self with cake and top gear.

Hopefully anyone reading this has given up by now, but fuuuck! I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe that I’ve done all this and I’m worth so little.

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU???

and I said I wasn’t cross.

I’m gonna go… do something else now. I just can’t right now. I just can’t.

Fuck