A lot can happen in ten years; cities can fall, Hawke’s beard can develop strands of grey, and kittens can grow into giant, cranky bastards.
“Well this is just unfair. I swear to you, he never lets anyone hold him, not even me,” Mahariel complains, watching Anders nuzzle a surprisingly docile Pounce as the beast purrs loudly, gently kneading paws the size of sovereigns against the mage’s thin tunic.
“It’s because he missed me and he loves me, yes you do, don’t you?” Anders cooed, smiling into Pounce’s orange fur, not minding that it would stick to his damp cheeks out of relief that his cat hadn’t forgotten him after all this time. “I missed you, too.”
Tag: yessssss
someone, about zevran and iron bull: haha yeah i like their romances because they’re just flirts and aren’t serious about relationships 🙂
me, clutching my 5,000 word essay on why they’re the most invested and loyal of the romance options: you fool.

Is it just me, or is a Dragon Age/Princess Bride crossover meant to be?
Zevran is of course Inigo Montoya. There is no doubting that sass.
Fezzik, I don’t know man, for straight off muscle I guess there’s Shale or Sten but they’re both pretty dang smart and Shale has a good sense of humor
Count Tyrone? Definitely Loghain. That ass.
Miracle Max? Flemeth much? I guess that makes the wife Morrigan (sorry Morri, you know I love you).
The Grandfather? Gotta be Varric.
That sick kid hearing the story? Obviously Hawke, who else would back sass Grandpa Varric like that?
And of course the hero of our story, I don’t know about y’all but Westley is definitely my Warden-Ellie Cousland. Do a little time as a pirate, generally be a bad-ass, hell yeah I have the will to stand, Queen Couscous has it covered.
That just leaves Buttercup/Alistair. Look at that. Totally useless without his warden, but can stand around looking pretty.
And I guess that makes Humperdink, Anora, because the Warden would definitely sweep in to save Princess Ali from her with the power of true love and badassery.
You’re welcome.
okay then how about kiss on the ear with fenhawke is that any better WILL THAT STOP THE HURT
NOW THIS IS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE
—
After some years spent with Fenris, romantically and otherwise (mostly romantically, to his immense joy), Hawke has come to two conclusions about elves and their trademark ears. The first is that they absolutely do twitch in response to emotions. Not a lot, but enough. When Fenris gets agitated, his left ear tends to dip back further than the other and it’s adorable.
The second is that they are immensely sensitive.
Hawke discovers this one rather by accident. He and Fenris are spending an evening in, splitting a bottle of Orlesian wine in front of the fire in the study. Fenris is working his way through a book with Hawke wrapped around him, looking over the elf’s shoulder and following his progress in the least helpful manner possible.
“Excellent work as always,” Hawke murmurs. He lifts his head with the goal of pressing a kiss to Fenris’ temple, but the alcohol affects his aim and he ends up kissing the top of Fenris’ ear instead. It’s an innocuous enough mistake. Hawke wouldn’t have particularly noticed if it weren’t for the way that Fenris tensed up immediately in his arms and made a tiny, but distinct, noise low in his throat.
Hawke is briefly alarmed, but Fenris relaxes without saying anything and returns to his book. If it had been a negative reaction, Fenris would have said so, so the other option is …
Hawke can’t help a mischievous smile as he dips his head and, purposefully, kisses the bottom edge of Fenris’ ear. This time, it nets him a genuine response, as Fenris squirms ever-so-slightly.
“Hawke,” he says, and the man in question gives his best expression of innocence to Fenris’ disapproving look.
“What?”
“You’re being incredibly distracting.”
“Who, me? Nonsense.” In a show of how non-distracting he is, Hawke reaches for the bottle of wine and takes a long swig. As soon as Fenris returns his attention to the book, however, Hawke sets the wine aside and leans back in. He draws his lips along the straight line of Fenris’ jaw, kisses his earlobe, and leaves a trail of featherlight touches along the bottom edge of his ear. Fenris gasps, and is wriggling in earnest by the time Hawke reaches the tip of his long ear and finishes the journey with a tiny flick of his tongue.
“Hawke,” Fenris says again, his voice strained. His fingers are tight on a page of his book, crinkling the parchment.
“Hm?” Hawke hums innocently, nosing past Fenris’ snow-white hair to kiss the dip behind his ear and jaw.
The book is abruptly flung five feet away. Hawke laughs as Fenris turns and all but tackles him to the floor. This new discovery will definitely be put to good use in the future.
Oh great, I’m an MNU bureaucrat. Or a prawn.
I’m the village witch! I get to fly around on a broom and have a smart-alek black cat for my best friend!
I’m a small-town frontier sheriff. In a town populated mostly by lizards, rodents, and other various desert creatures.
I’m Captain America.
…
Well, shit.
A young peasant maid working in the house of painter, to become his talented assistant and the model for one of his most famous works.
A mutant.
I’m five plucky talking golden retriever puppies, then.
Oh fuck… the last movie I watched was Snowpiercer. So I guess I have to be the one to nut the naked Emperor, get my friends killed, destroy the world as we know it, and die for the cause now. Um… you’re welcome?
(@copperbadge, I blame you.) (Again.) (Still)HAHAHAHAHA do documentaries count, because if so I’m John
motherFuckingKennedy. (It was a very biased documentary.)
I am a dragon rider who runs the damn village and has an awesome cute kick ass dragon and an awesome cute kick ass girlfriend! Yeeeeeeeeees