I love how Jim is just a generic character model that they don’t even care if they re-use in the same scene.
Like this one for example:
Jim 1 waits with a clip board while Jim 2 takes orders.
Jim 2 leaves.
Only for Jim 3 to immediately approach from another direction with a new message.
And even after Jim 3 leaves, Jim 1 is still waiting there, trying halfheartedly to get Cullen’s attention.
The Jimquisition, everybody.
I like to pretend that all of Cullen’s underlings are like the Nurse Joys of Thedas, where they all look the same and like Brock, only Cullen can tell them all apart.
“No, Inquisitor, it’s easy! Jim 14 wears a badge made of everite instead of dawnstone and Jim 37 is left-handed. See?”
Lawful Good: ”Tightly wound, hates violence against animals.” Neutral Good: “I won a radio contest, And I’m so excited to be here tonight Chaotic Good: “We didn’t have to endure this crap when we danced in Barcelona!“
Lawful Neutral: “British secret agent, ballistics expert, and ladies’ man.”
True Neutral: “Just a normal janitor pushing trash around.”
Chaotic Neutral: “Coffee, extra black, extra no sugar, and real warm.”
Lawful Evil:
“I stole my first car at the tender age of nine.”
Neutral Evil: “You can just call me Carl.” Chaotic Evil: “CPA, recently divorced father of two with a dark sexual secret.”
replied to your photoset“it;s just unrealistic that hawke doesn’t like immediately blow anders…”
sERIOUSLY. ‘for three years i lay awake at night aching for you’ ANDERS. U COULD’VE HAD THAT IN ACT 1. pls be kind to yourself and kiss that troublesome ferelden refugee immediately
LIKE i need to 1) actually play through the thing and 2) probably go 2 bed soon it’s 2am and my joints hurt
B U T
WHAT ABOUT an AU where they DO get together like right then but nobody tells Hawke’s mom and she literally doesn’t know until 3 years later but they pretend it just started and then even varric prints it that way
lmao. hawke’s mom is like “i need to find you a suitable husband/wife!!!!” and hawke and anders are just like “………..uhhh do we tell her now, or”
like at this point it isn’t even a big secret anymore, they just don’t know how to be like “umm actually we’ve been dating for well over three years now?? we kinda thought you already knew. i mean, the rest of kirkwall does. it’s kind of obvious.”
no like holy shit, first it;s like just starting out and life is stressful in lowtown ok like dodging templars left and right, and all the slavers and gangs you piss off, hawke doesn;t tell leandra bc like she;s stressful enough as it is and they idk “anders’ grimoire and chill” at anders’ place
and then BAM deep roads BAM bethany’s gone BAM hawke brings home wicked amounts of $$$ from the deep roads, they get their estate back, etc
but like, hawke’s just some bullshit new money in kirkwall and like they want to keep Anders safe like not captured by templars SO
and like, hawke’s never home, and when they do come home, they’re usually covered in a lifetime’s worth of dirt and blood, leandra really stopped asking questions back in lothering
AND THEN
they’re like ‘oh shit, anders, my mom doesn’t know about us, oh god’ and varric and isabela actually are the ones that come up with the plan of ‘mom i want you to meet my totally new boyfriend Anders’
this is the most beautiful thing omfg i love it and it’s totally something that would happen with these two
im just
imagine leandra writing a letter to bethany in the circle like “i need to tell you all about your brother’s new boyfriend, A” liKE
and bethany can only reply “aw that is so cute im happy” like she didn’t have to wake up a naked hawke wrapped in anders’ blankets like ‘get up, i can only handle so much mom and uncle gamlen by myself’ multiple times
varric still claims he could hear her howls from the gallows all the way at the hanged man
omfg i’m cackling. like, years go by and hawke doesn’t even come home most nights, both hawke sibs are just like “how!!! is our mother this unobservant!!! how did this happen. how”
plus side, when anders moves into the hawke estate, at first they’re a little worried about whether leandra will eventually realize something is amiss and they’ll have to explain the “well, he’s kind of sort of possessed” thing, but the obliviousness continues and leandra doesn’t notice a thing. anders glows when he sleeps and everything, but even on those occasions he accidentally falls asleep in the library or something, he never gets caught and she never catches on.
Max: Well, I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Furiosa: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.
Max: You don’t have to wear it.
Furiosa: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.
I bet you anything that after the Arishok thing, Hawke at some point realized they could challenge annoying nobles to honor duels in order to get them to back down or shut up, because no one wants to duel the person who took down the fucking Arishok.
I am also like 95% sure this had at some point backfired on Hawke.
“Hawke, no, you can’t challenge the entire establishment to a duel, that doesn’t even make sense.”
“Why not? I just killed a high dragon in the Bone Pit. I’m ready to go, I’ll punch a Chantry, I don’t give a fuck.”
Delicious Fish 