Inquisitor:*loses Bull in a crowd* Desperate times calls for desperate measures
Inquisitor: DRAGONS SUCK!!
Bull:*somewhere in the crowd* THE FUCK DID YOU-
Hawke:*knocks down Bull and everyone in crowd* SAY THAT TO MY FACE
Inquisitor: What

mediocre-latinist:

jasonalanclark:

emiibarazakis:

skrulls:

taejira:

pickmanslovelymodel:

also, i really want there to be more vampires and so on who, instead of speaking in a charming, cultured, but vaguely old-fashioned way because they are a 275-year-old consciousness in an undead, unaging 19-year-old body, talk in embarrassingly misapplied or outdated slang and pop culture references in a failed effort to blend in with their apparent peer group

…or who speak pretty normally most of the time, but lapse into saying stuff like “GOD’S WOUNDS, YOU CUR“ when they get upset enough

vampires who got turned 30 years ago and still say “radical”

vampires who just use WAY too much 90s slang. vampires who say “booyah” when they get too excited.

vampires who mix all slang from the past 5 centuries mercilessly within the same breath and don’t even try to stop it anymore.

Unhand me, you egg-sucking, lily-livered, jive-talking, whackadoo. Foul villain! Cur! I bite my thumb at thee, you ugly motherfucker, so hasta la bye bye, daddy-o!

My eyes are bleeding

magealicious:

um ok but my favorite thing about da2 was always that the little “gather your party” things because they’re literally giant horns so i always imagined hawke blowing into one and then the sound would be heard all throughout kirkwall and the companions would be like “i have been signaled” and drop whatever they were doing and run over to wherever hawke was and i mean like that makes me really giggly i don’t know why

arbitrary warden ask meme

eleplay:

  1. can your warden do a handstand? (a split? a cartwheel?)
  2. how does your warden typically sneeze? (do they sneeze in multiples?)
  3. how well do they swim?
  4. in what state do they keep their fingernails?
  5. what was their first experience with losing a tooth like?
  6. how does your warden like their eggs cooked?
  7. how ticklish are they?
  8. what kind of weather does your warden prefer?
  9. hot or cold showers? assuming they’re in a situation where a shower would exist. assuming they’ve ever washed in their life. is your warden smelly
  10. what does your warden smell like?
  11. how fast can your warden book it?
  12. how are they with heights?
  13. do they cry a lot? at what? are they quiet or loud?
  14. can your warden burp on command?
  15. How Vengeful Are They
  16. is their bellybutton an innie or an outie?
  17. how do they handle being injured?
  18. how good is their poker face?
  19. in a situation where your warden and alistair both arrive at a party late and there is one slice of cake left, what does your warden do? 
  20. the same situation as 19, but it’s dog instead of alistair

dogshat:

The Darktown Healer?” Hawke repeats. “That’s the blog? Isn’t that – giving your location away? Aren’t you in danger?”

“This town is deceptively huge,” Anders replies easily. “Besides, no one even knows that the Healer is a journalist, and no one who works for the board knows where I live.” There’s a brief silence there where Hawke can read the quiet order to keep Anders’ secrets, and the accompanying distrust that says Anders doesn’t know if he will or not. Hawke figures he deserves it.

“Ms. Stannard said it herself,” he continues, and he turns around with a smirk, tempered with a subtle fury that leaves Hawke’s heart tripping over its next beat, “no one important lives in Darktown.

my half of an art trade with queen-schadenfreude, at last. +u+ she asked for “anders in glasses,” and apparently that went in one ear and came out as “fashion-forward journalist anders who secretly runs a subversive political resistance via an anonymous blog” and “civilian hawke who accidentally saved kirkwall and is getting interviewed,” and. well. you asked for art and i built you a sandbox, i’m sorry. :,D guys, don’t do art trades with me.

(also, anders could totally rock these pants.)

Origins: Inner Circle biographic details

valerie1972:

Note: this is just the stuff in each character’s dedicated section in WoT V2. Things that we’ve learned through the previous WoT and in-game is omitted. This is just biographical stuff like ages and family names and places they’ve been, not any of the stories about them.

Includes DLC companions who were mentioned in WoT V2.

Alistair Theirin

  • Sent to the monastery at Bournshire in 9:20.
  • Recruited by the Grey Wardens in 9:29.
  • There was a Royal Inquest in 9:31 into who his parents are; the results were inconclusive.
  • Goldanna apparently survived the Blight because she testified at the Inquest.

Morrigan

  • First reports of Morrigan were when she appeared in the village of Merinwood on the outskirts of the Korcari Wilds.
  • A templar reports her turning into a bird when she was 12.
  • In 9:20 (”a number of years later”) she was observed watching a group of Avvar hunters.
  • At some point after that she was reported by a villager as having turned into a bear.
  • Appeared in the Orlesian court around the time of the beginning of the mage rebellion.
  • Based on all of the numbers and dates, I’d guess Morrigan to have been born around 9:02 to 9:05. This makes her roughly 25-28 in Origins and 36-38 in Inquisition.

Leliana (this info is the same as the Inquisition bio)

  • Her mother’s name was Oisine. She died just after Leliana turned four.
  • Lady Cecilie’s surname is Vasseur.
  • Leliana first went to Val Royeaux when she was 16, and met Marjolaine at the ball there.
  • Beatrix III died in 9:34, and Dorothea became Justinia V and Leliana her Left Hand.

Wynne

  • Named for the village where she was captured by Templars, Langwynne.
  • Harrowed just before she turned 17.
  • Aneirin was assigned to her as apprentice when she was 19.
  • She became pregnant with Rhys one year after Aneirin’s (assumed) death.
  • Rhys was born in 9:02 according to his section, which makes Wynne born in 8:82. She was thus 48 in Origins and roughly 58 at the time of her death in Asunder.

Zevran Araini

  • Zevran’s father was executed in 9:04.
  • Purchased by the Crows in 9:12 at the age of seven.
  • Taliesin was purchased from a Tevinter wreck at Llomerryn the same year.
  • House Araini was First Talon of the Crows in 9:12, Second Talon in 9:16.
  • Rinnala (Rinna) became part of their House in 9:16, “another of Prince Estefan’s bastards.”
  • Rinna, Taliesin, and Zevran were apprenticed by Master Eoman Araini as a single unit, and Zevran had completed seventeen missions by 9:24.
  • In 9:28, Rinna’s death was part of an agreement with House Valisti to put forth Claudio Valisti as heir to King Natale instead of Rinna. House Araini became Eighth Talon with Master Eoman raised to Grandmaster in exchange for this.
  • Grandmaster Eoman was killed four months after the end of the Fifth Blight. Other Crow murders followed.
  • It appears from all of this that Zevran was born in 9:04 or early 9:05. This makes him 25 at the time of Origins and 36 at the time of Inquisition.

Oghren Kondrat

  • House Kondrat was a minor Warrior Caste house.
  • His marriage to Branka was arranged.
  • Branka became a Paragon a year after they married.
  • House Kondrat voted to be absorbed into the new Smith Caste House Branka.
  • He and Felsi had been interested in each other before he married Branka; when she left for the Anvil of the Void they rekindled things.
  • Felsi belonged to a Merchant Caste family.
  • The noble that Oghren killed in a duel (leading to Oghren being forbidden weapons) was Lord Meino’s youngest son.
  • He became a Warden after he dropped his and Felsi’s baby twice due to his drinking.
  • Branka became a Paragon in 9:10, so I’d guess that Oghren was born in roughly 8:90, making him roughly 40 in Origins.

Shale

  • She volunteered to become a golem in -255 Ancient.
  • Wilhelm found Shale in the Deep Roads in 8:93.
  • Shale killed Wilhelm in 9:04.
  • Last seen bound for the Circle of Montsimmard and hasn’t been seen since.

Sten of the Beresaad

  • In 9:03 he was assigned to guarding the port of Seheron, a job given to young warriors, and was assigned there for three years.
  • He learned languages by asking foreigners at the port.
  • In 9:12 he was a karasaad leading the beresaad in a naval attack on Qarinus.
  • He has a reputation for being curious which is really unusual for qunari.
  • Based on these numbers and dates, I’d guess Sten was born somewhere around 8:90 – kids get their job assignments when they’re 12, so him being at the port in 9:03 means he was likely around that age then. This puts him at roughly 40 in Origins.

Loghain

  • Met his wife, Maeve, when she confronted him about his refusal to live in the broken-down Gwaren castle. He hired her to supervise its refitting.
    (In Origins her name is given as Celia, so who knows WTF).
  • In 9:10 Anora started traveling to Denerim with Loghain.
  • Loghain is awesome at braiding hair and turning bloody battles into bedtime stories.
  • Maeve died in 9:28, after which Loghain never returned to Gwaren.

Nathaniel Howe

  • Mother is Eliane Bryland, an herbalist and physician, also sister of Arl Leonas Bryland of South Reach.
  • He squired in the Free Marches under Eliane’s cousin Ser Rudolphe Varley, an Orlesian-born chevalier who was part of the Vael court in Starkhaven.
  • Nathaniel learned archery from one of Ser Rudolphe’s archers despite Rudolphe’s disapproval.
  • Spent eight years with Ser Rudolphe, leaving only to remove the embarrassment of the Howe name from the household after the Fifth Blight.

Velanna

  • Seranni is two years younger.
  • She was nine when she discovered her magic.
  • She became First to Keeper Ilshae almost immediately.
  • She left her clan when given a choice by the Keeper: to not get vengeance or to leave. Some others, including Seranni, joined her when she left.
  • The Seeker was acting on the orders of the Architect when he killed Velanna’s clan offshoot and framed humans.
  • Faladhin became First after Velanna left, and became Keeper after Ilshae.

Sigrun

  • Her mother’s name was Jana
  • They lived with Jana’s brother Boro, his wife, and their four children in a shack in Dust Town.
  • Mischa was a shop owner who caught Sigrun stealing food but paid for it instead of turning her in to the other shopkeeper. She offered Sigrun a job running errands. Sigrun framed her for stealing a statue of Paragon Bemot, which got Mischa exiled to the surface.
  • She joined the legion after a Warrior Caste guard died chasing her after she stole Damira Helmi’s purse.
  • Varlan Vollney taught her to read and write.

Anders (this info is the same as the DA2 bio) 

  • His father was from the Anderfels, but came to Ferelden as a boy.
  • Anders was born in a small farming village in Ferelden.
  • He accidentally set the family’s farm on fire when he was twelve.
  • He was called Anders because he refused to speak when he arrived at Kinloch Hold so no one knew his name.
  • Made his first escape attempt less than six months after he arrived at Kinloch Hold. Each time he escaped it took them longer to find him.
  • While Karl and Anders were involved as apprentices, Anders made no escape attempts.
  • Anders and Karl were both harrowed around the same time, after which Karl was sent to Kirkwall.
  • It took him “almost two decades” to get free of the Circle.
  • Based on that, I’d guess Anders was born right around the transition from Blessed to Dragon Age. This would make him roughly 32 in Awakening, roughly 38 at the time of Chantrypalooza, and roughly 42 during Inquisition.

Florian Phineas Horatio Aldebrant, Esquire

  • Parents are Magistrate Kingston and Florence of West Hill.
  • His parents spent a huge amount of money to try to get him to go back to the tower instead of following the Warden-Commander.
  • After Witch Hunt, he and Ariane go to his parents’ house and he leaves his robes and hat there in favor of “something leather.”

Ariane

  • Likes shemlen pickles.